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What are the 5 Conflict Management Styles

What are the 5 Conflict Management Styles

Mar 7, 2013

Ever wonder about how many people fight? In this article we decided to break down a thing or two and let you know how most people tend take on or aviod fights. This applies to anywhere, your family, work place, you name the location it is there.

lets get this list started.

Conflict Resolution In The Work Place

Conflict Resolution In The Work Place

Mar 7, 2013

Cindy has been running her own business for years now. She had a few more thoughts she wanted to share on how to resolve a conflict. Take it away Cindy!

People’s conflict management styles tend to mesh over time, and to solve conflict a “right” way emerges. It is best to recognize when this style can be used effectively. Make sure that it is understood by all that different styles may suit different situations.

Look at the situation and figure out which style is appropriate. There are steps below that you can use to help resolve the conflict:

The Legal Issues Of Gun Safety in America

Gun safety laws that focus on preventing minors from accessing firearms have been implemented, as of 2000, in 47 states. The Child Access Prevention, (CAP), legislation ranges in penalties from civil suits to criminal charges against gun owners for the same offense. Citizens who keep firearms in the home need to be aware of how the laws are written in their state to prevent penalties being levied against them. Efforts at the federal level to enact CAP legislation, however, have consistently failed.

Virtually all the laws require a minimum level of child deterrence by installing a trigger lock. What is most revealing about trigger locks, though, are the arguments that debunk their usefulness. One such argument, published in an article by the Buckeye Firearms Association, is very explicit in their denunciation of locked-up, unloaded firearms. The primary objection by the anti-trigger lock folks is that a home defense handgun is virtually worthless if someone has to fumble in the dark looking for keys and ammunition, which by law are not allowed to be kept with the gun. Another objection to trigger-locked guns is they can be loaded while locked and the gun can be cocked. If the gun owner finds a gun in this state, removing the lock from the loaded gun requires very steady hands. Trigger locks are popular, though, because they are relatively cheap, give the pretense of securing the firearm, and thus are often given away with the purchase of a handgun.

Many interest groups weigh in on the proliferation of CAP laws and articles are slanted in both directions, yet regardless of the arguments for or against CAP laws, if you live in a state that requires some level of deterrence to the the firearm, and for the safety of others, a good quality gun safe is a viable alternative to trigger locks and a sound investment. Gun safes are available from many sources and you can go here for additional information about them, and on the plus side, a good quality gun safe won’t wipe out your budget. Retail store prices start at arond $100, but for half that price you can start with a quality gun safe by visiting this page here. Here you will find lockable gun boxes that open with your own programmable code, no keys to fumble with. There are also gun safes that open only when it recognizes your fingerprint. These bio-metric safes take away the concern that you may forget the code in a stressful situation.

Though most states now have CAP laws in place, the most stringent laws being in California, Massachusetts, Minnesota and Washington, D.C., not all states are legislating them. Washington State, for example, has not created any CAP laws, and Seattle is relying on public messages to encourage the safe storage of guns. During one campaign, the state had an agreement with giant retailer Fred Meyer to offer discounted gun safes, not trigger locks. During that campaign more than 1000 gun safes were purchased.

What Happens With Retirement Savings During a Divorce?

The financial settlement in a divorce is one of the most stressful parts of the whole process. This is heightened by the fact that it is also often one of the most contentious issues in any divorce. In fact, more than 50% of divorces end up in court with a settlement awarded by a judge. Despite this, an often overlooked area is retirement is retirement savings, or 401k funds. In most states marital assets are subject to an equitable distribution. This means that 401k assets usually also form a part of the 50-50 split, but this is not always the case. There are four main ways that retirement assets are managed during a divorce settlement.

Option 1 – Retain 401k
In this option 401k is retained by one partner and additional assets are given to the other partner with the same value. This option is the least complicated, but it doesn’t necessarily provide an equitable split. You need to consider the current and long term values of your assets as well as certain tax implications. For example, your 401k might be worth $150,000 now, but it could be worth considerably more in retirement.

Option 2 – 50-50 Split
In this option the 401k is split between partners. This is somewhat complicated because you need a Qualified Domestic Relations Order, which is a court order for an alternate party to receive part of your plan account. If you have worked internationally during your marriage you will need to find out how overseas pension funds are distributed in a divorce. Many countries work in a similar way, such as with Australian superannuation which also requires a court order to split. You can read more about how this works with superannuation at This option does require extra time and effort, which puts some couples off the process.

Option 3 – Couples retain separate accounts
This option applies to couples that both have 401k accounts and can agree to simply keep their own 401k. This is not usually equitable, but many couples want to avoid the QDRO paperwork. If the account balances are very different the couple may agree to have the smaller balance increased from the other partner’s account.

Option 4 – Liquidate the account
In this option a person can choose to liquidate their account and pay out their partner to meet the QDRO requirements. This has tax consequences and is generally not recommended unless your spouse agrees to be liable for the tax.

Additional Option for Older Couples
The other option is only suitable for people over the age of 59.5 years. At this time a portion of your 401k can be rolled over into an IRA without tax penalty or liability. This is the best option for older couples and it provides an equitable split.

Divorce can be messy business and in the mess many couples forget about the distribution of retirement funds. However, the process does not need to be overly complicated and there are actually many options available to you. As with any personal situation it is best to consult with a divorce lawyer or solicitor to find the best option.

Turning Conflict Into a Positive Experience

Conflicts are an inevitable part of daily life. Whether at school, work, or at home, people will encounter conflicts with other parties. Conflicts are unpleasant, there is no doubt about this, but they don’t have to be viewed as solely negative experiences. In fact, it can be said that we often learn best from conflicts. The reason why people view conflicts as negative experiences is that they let it “get to them.” People take disagreements and words said against them personally, and this leads to them feeling bad. This shouldn’t be the case. In this post, I am going to talk about how people can settle conflicts in the best way possible. Hopefully, by doing so, I can help my readers turn conflicts into experiences that are more positive.

So, how can people turn conflicts in positive situations. There’s actually only one important trick to this, and that’s being “objective.” When engaging in conflict with other, never let your emotions take over, cloud your judgment, and lead you to do hurtful things. Too often, people let their emotions get the best of them, and conflicts become situations where parties just one to one-up each other. The original purpose of the conflict, to improve on bad situations, gets lost as a result. When engaging in conflict, people need to make it a point to actually listen to what other parties have to say. Also, they need to reply to whatever other parties say in a respectful, well thought out manner. By doing so, people can ensure that one’s feelings get hurt and great ideas are actually contributed to the discussion.

As a divorce lawyer, I know how effective conflict resolution helps clients go through their divorce in an amicable way. Most of my clients end up being friends with their ex-spouses, and this is because I encourage them to talk to their spouses in a respectful manner. To me, divorce proceedings don’t have to be a battle; I always try to turn them into collaborations.

“I divorced my husband about two years ago. Despite undergoing a divorce, I remain good friends with him. This is all thanks to my lawyer. My lawyer encouraged me to approach the divorce in a collaborative manner. My ex-husband, although he was hostile at first, eventually relented. Now, we don’t have problems when it comes to our kids. Despite not being together anymore, we have a great friendly relationship, and our kids don’t have to suffer from our divorce. Also, we both don’t have any financial problems as a result of the divorce, and this is because we ended up agreeing that we both should support our children to the best of our abilities. After having binary option trading explained to us, we both started doing binary option trading with Banc de Binary Europe. Through such a service, we are able to make very profitable trades. My ex-husband take turns researching the market and guessing the price movements of assets. All of the money we earn goes into our children’s trust fund,” Smith, a friend of mine, once told me.

Hopefully, this post of mine will end up being helpful not just to people who are having marriage problems, but to everyone else. This piece of advice should work for all types of conflict. If only most people followed this advice of mine, then the world would be a much better place. People really need to know that conflict doesn’t have to be a thing that doesn’t help in any way. Through conflict, people can learn more about themselves and others and improve on all the things that need to be improved on.

On Fixing Marriages

As a divorce lawyer, I obviously earn a living off of the separation of couples. This, however, doesn’t mean that I urge couples to file for divorce in the face of the smallest of problems. In fact, I actually want couples to do everything they can to save their marriage first before they decide to file for divorce. Oftentimes, those who heed my advice are often able to save their marriage. One of the most common marriage problems prospective clients of mine have are “investment problems.” Because my pre-law is finance, I am able to give such clients of mine useful advise on investing, and this leads to them being able to deal with their problems and fix their marriage. When money is the cause of a failing marriage, learning and applying practical solutions to money issues should be considered before filing for divorce.

One of the things I tell prospective clients whose marriage problems result from money issues to do is to look into binary options trading. The most common problem couples have with their investments is the fact that they are too complex to deal with. Because they are very complex, couples tend to make grave mistakes when dealing with them, and this leads to them experiencing tension and eventually, having a falling out. By switching to binary options, couples can ease tensions with regard to their investments. Through binary options trading, any couple can make huge profits through easy means. A couple only has to look up a binary options broker comparison on the internet to find a legitimate brokerage they can work with for a long time to ensure their success with binary options.

By looking up comparisons of binary options brokerages on the internet, any couple will see that Banc de Binary is the most trusted binary options brokerage on the internet. All banc de binary reviews speak highly of the brokerage’s services, and for good reason too. Compared to most other brokerages, Banc de Binary provides amazing services without imposing unreasonable fees on them. Many of the couples I have counselled have ended up working with Banc de Binary, and all of them have become very much satisfied with the brokerage’s services.

“Thanks to Banc de Binary, my husband and I were able to deal with our marital woes successfully. I can’t even imagine how we ended up almost separating now. I’m glad you [me, the divorce lawyer] suggested that we try to deal with money matters first before finalizing our divorce. Thanks to the fact that we now have great investments, my husband and I are in good terms now. Of course, we are still also undergoing marriage counseling to further improve our relationship,” Bethany L., a prospective client of mine, told me.

Despite my advice, however, some couples just can’t fix their marriage – this is where I start working as divorce lawyer and do my best for my clients. Thankfully, I am able to help save many marriages through by giving prospective clients marriage advice first. The only time couples should file for divorce is when they really have done everything to save their marriage to no avail.

Saving One’s Marriage

I have been working as a divorce lawyer for more than twenty years. In my twenty years of practice, I have made great successes. Of course, just because I make a living off divorces does not mean that I actually encourage couples to separate in the face of even the smallest problems. In fact, even though I am a divorce lawyer, I try to encourage couples on the verge of separating to actually try their best to solve the problems they face first before they decide on filing for divorce. Sometimes, I even give them direct advice. For example, one of the leading causes of divorce in Toronto is couples having financial problems with regard to the small businesses they own. Oftentimes, these problems can easily be solved and thus don’t have to result in couples having to separate. I tell couples whose marriage woes result from business problems that instead of immediately filing for divorce, they should first sort through their financial problems, that one way they can do this is by hiring a Toronto bookkeeping company.

Not many business owners realize this, but oftentimes, money problems actually result from them handling their enterprise’s bookkeeping on their own. Unfortunately, such mismanagement often results in couples who own a business to turn against each other. Couples might end up blaming each other for the financial problems their business is facing and then end up filing for divorce. Financial problems don’t necessarily have to end in divorce, though. By availing of bookkeeping services Toronto couples can still remedy the problems their business is facing and thus save their marriage. Expert bookkeepers can quickly go through errors in bookkeeping and fix them. Although it is impossible to recoup all losses that result from erroneous bookkeeping, dedicated bookkeepers can still fix part of the damage done and prevent future losses.

Whenever a party comes to me and tells me that the reason for them filing for divorce is business problems, I always give them counsel on how to fix their business problems first. Around 90% of the time, those who take my advice are able to fix their marriage. In addition to this, they are also able to make their business more lucrative.

Of course, the effort couples/business owners exert in fixing their marriage shouldn’t end at them just fixing their business. Business problems shouldn’t be enough reason for couples to file for divorce. There is always a bigger problem when it comes to such situations, so in addition to fixing their business problems, couples/business owners should also undergo marriage counseling. Through marriage counseling, any couple is able to address all of their problems in an objective environment and get over them.

Hopefully, what I have written here will help many couples in Toronto fix their marriage. More often than not, failing marriages can still be saved; couples really just need to exert effort to do so. If you can say to yourself that you and your partner have done everything you can to save your marriage to no avail, then that’s the only time you should go to a divorce lawyer and start legal proceedings. Otherwise, you have no reason to file for divorce.

Increased Workplace Productivity with Effective Air Filters

Increased Workplace Productivity with Effective Air Filters

Feb 23, 2014

It doesn’t sound like there is a logical connection between how well employees work and the quality of the air filters that are installed in the building however research has shown that there is.

A lot of workplaces are now ensuring that the quality of air inside the building is vastly improved and that employees are breathing in good quality air throughout the day. While in many states there are no actual regulations for this kind of thing and even with the efforts of the environmental lobby there is an absence of regulations relating to health in the workplace at least from an air quality perspective.

Recent research has shown that the installation of good quality air filters has several effects relating to employees and the company as a whole. On the one hand it reduces the chance of germs and illnesses spreading and with a higher quality of air it means that fewer days are missed due to illness. This can have a direct effect on the productivity of those who work there. This doesn’t just relate to people that have severe asthma however it also applies to seasonal allergies and illnesses too.

Effective air filters such as a 20x20x1 air filter can help to reduce pollen in the summer months and the spreading germs in the winter months although it is important that you replace your filter to ensure that this stays consistent all year round.

Additionally air filters have economic advantages for the workplace. On top of the obvious increase in productivity that we mentioned above and how this can have an impact of the amount of work being done; efficient air filters can save money too. Many commercial buildings are now having air filters installed that use far less energy per year resulting in a reduction in energy costs and less bills for the business.

Some companies have reported in their annual accounts that just one year of having energy efficient air filters can result in saving thousands and, more often than not, this money has been ploughed back into the business to both increase the company and offer bonuses to staff. So it is clear to see how effective and energy efficient air filters have a twofold effect: first on employee health and secondly on productivity and an increase in profits.

For a lot of companies we have found that their air filtration system is hardy a top priority however raising awareness of this and the benefits which it can have is something that we are actively trying to do. Air filters can help to reduce the chances of picking up an illness in the workplace and then taking this home to the family (which can also have knock on effects) and they also help to increase productivity and decrease missed days due to being ill.

While health and a healthy environment are the main advantages of effective air filters they also save money in the long term as well and for a lot of businesses it is a win-win situation having them installed and used throughout the year.

Understanding How Much a Divorce Costs

Understanding How Much a Divorce Costs

Feb 20, 2014

If you and your spouse have decided to split you are undoubtedly experiencing a very difficult and stressful time in your life. I always encourage couples to attend counseling and try to work out their differences but there are times when that’s no longer an option and divorce is the only alternative. While you may feel a sense of relief at taking this final step so you can both get on with your lives and go your separate ways there’s still some work ahead of you. Depending on how contested the divorce is it can turn into a very lengthy and expensive process. However, if you’re still friendly and feel confident you can split up your assets on your own then it can be quick and relatively painless. Let’s look at the different divorce options available to you:

1) Do-It-Yourself Divorce. Officially known as Pro Se litigation, this path allows you to complete the entire process yourself. If you’re not concerned with how to split assets or any other financial issues then this is the fastest and cheapest option available to you. Just fill out the court paperwork, show up for one hearing, and your done. In total, a do-it-yourself divorce will cost less than $200.

2) Mediator. If you and your partner feel relatively confident you can agree on how to split up your assets and whether or not any spousal support or child support is required then working with a mediator is an excellent option. The mediator acts as an independent third party and will review all your assets, income, and liabilities to help you come up with a fair and equitable way to split everything up. In most instances you’ll only need to meet with them a couple of times. Your only expenses are the mediators time, a one time lawyer fee for the final settlement agreement, and court costs. You can realistically expect to finalize your divorce for a few thousand dollars and just a few hours of your time. I always recommend this option to clients who are still on speaking terms with their soon to be ex-spouse.

3) Divorce Court. If the do-it-yourself or mediation options are not realistic then hiring attorney’s and going to divorce court may be your only choice. This can be exceptionally expensive choice and really a last resort for most people. If you’re lucky, you’ll only need to spend $15,000 or so on attorney’s fees and court costs. You’ll also need to attend multiple court hearings and meetings with your attorney at their office. It’s important to understand the time commitment that’s required for a divorce case.

Oftentimes, during protracted proceedings, access to cash can be an issue for both parties. Lately, I’ve been recommending clients look into lawsuit loans which can help defray some of the costs of an expensive suit. Most clients are thankful for any option that will help lessen the stress of protracted divorce proceedings.

If you do need to hire an attorney for a divorce case make sure to do your due diligence beforehand. Ask your attorney how much their services will cost and if there’s anything you can do to lessen expenses, like filing the court papers yourself. Also, make sure you have all your financial documents in order so your attorney doesn’t have to spend time chasing them down. Being as prepared as possible on your end will help keep costs at a reasonable level.

Why Couples Having a Rough Patch Should Undergo Marriage Counseling

As a divorce lawyer, I have seen many former couples emotionally scar each other as well as their children because of the bitter divorce proceedings and custody battles they go through. Although I earn a living from representing people who go through such things, this doesn’t mean that I always encourage people in “unhappy marriages” to go through a divorce – I firmly believe that many unhappy marriages can be fixed by making the right effort and that couples should do so to avoid causing much emotional hurt to everyone involved. The reason why I am actually writing this post is to help people considering filing for divorce to think about exerting just a bit more effort to save their marriage. Hopefully, what I write here will save many people from having to go through the pain of a bitter divorce.

Not many divorce lawyers advocate this, but I for one want couples on the brink of undergoing divorce to go through marriage counseling. Most couples don’t like the idea of undergoing marriage counseling because their pride can’t take it. Many couples think that marriage counseling is for couples who aren’t in control of their lives. The truth is that most couples who are considering getting a divorce really aren’t, and these couples need professional help because their marriage can most likely be saved through it.

The truth is that most couples who undergo marriage counseling are able to save their marriage, even the ones who think that there really is no chance to save it. Through marriage counseling, couples are able to talk about their grievances in an environment that enables them to address them in an objective manner. The problem most couples have is that without professional help, they aren’t able to handle their problems effectively. With marriage counseling, couples are given the best chance to solve their biggest problems – this is the reason why so many marriages are saved by it.

Of course, there really are some marriages that can’t be saved even through intensive marriage counseling. Marriages that involve physically abusive spouses that remain unrepentant sadly can’t be saved. In such a case, the spouse who is the victim of physical abuse would do well to coordinate with a personal injury lawyer and a divorce lawyer. With the help of a lawyer who is well-versed in Toronto personal injury law and a lawyer who is well-versed in Toronto divorce law, any wronged party can achieve the justice they deserve.

Hopefully, what I have written here will prove helpful to many couples who are currently having significant marriage problems. If you haven’t tried everything in your power to save your marriage, it is in my opinion that you do so first. If you have done everything you could or are in abusive relationship that threatens your safety, I suggest you contact a divorce lawyer and/or a personal injury lawyer (see: By doing so, you will surely be able to move on with your life. Whatever the case may be, what’s important is you’ve fully thought your decision through. By thinking your decision through, you can be sure that you won’t have regrets in the future.

Don’t Let Your Work Take the Best of Your Family Life

You’ve probably heard people say before how you have to balance family life and work life. But what does that even mean? Is there some scale to measure these abstract concepts on, and how hard do you have to work to make sure they are even?

But it’s not about keeping them even. What it really boils down to is making sure that one doesn’t consume so much of your time and attention that the other one suffers.

Setting Priorities

The first way you’ll have to start this process of “balancing’ is by getting your priorities in order. Are work and family your most important priorities? Maybe you have hobbies or interests outside of the big two. And that’s fine, but you want to make they are not what is causing your family time and work productivity to suffer.

family-life-garcinia-cambogiaFor example, a lot of people like to go drinking after work. Now you may say it is your work that is cutting into family time, but if you’re spending all night out with your friends because you need that drink, then it’s probably not work that’s taking top spot.

You could examine the things you are doing- look at where you are spending your time. You can write down an estimate of how much time each day or each week you spend doing various things. If you’re truthful with yourself when you make this list, you’ll probably find some ways to shave some time off here or there. It’s great to have hobbies and such that you enjoy, but when you let them get in the way of what’s important, then maybe it’s time to make some changes.

Fighting the Stress

One thing that really gets us in a bad mood is stress. It affects some people much worse than others and for a variety of reasons. When we let that stress get to us, it can mess with our productivity and our enjoyment of our leisure time. You’re not going to be having much fun with your family if you are constantly stressing out about things you can change.

And those are the big ones- the things you can make a difference with. If you know you have a problem and you could make it go away, then it can really cause you stress. One of the major stress-inducers is weight gain. It doesn’t matter when you put it on; lots of people feel conscious about the weight they have gained since they were younger.

You might mentally chastise yourself for time you could be spending at the gym, and instead you’re doing something unhealthy. But you don’t have to go to the gym to get rid of the pounds. There are actually weight loss supplements out there, like Garcinia Cambogia (more information at which can help you get rid of pounds without a lot of strenuous exercise from you. Do your research and see what you can do to get the figure you want without having to change your life around.

Dealing with the Issues

You know what really throws life and work out of balance?

It’s conflict.

As a divorce lawyer, I see a lot of this happen at the family level.When you don’t get along with a family member or a co-worker or you just hate something about your home or your job, then of course you’re going to be spending more time where you enjoy yourself.

If your spouse annoys you (and that’s okay; it’s quite common) then you may find yourself spending inordinate amounts of time at work, volunteering for longer hours or just spending a little extra time away from home before and after work.

When you do that, you’re not only making things worse back at home, but you’re avoiding the issue. You have to deal with your issues if you want them to get better. Yes, they could improve on their own. Maybe your spouse will finally come around to your way of thinking. But overwhelmingly, it doesn’t work like that. If you want things to change, then you have to cause them to change.

But take your time looking at the problem. The bigger the problem is, the more thought it requires. You don’t want to use a knee-jerk reaction and say something you’ll regret. When you have conflict, you need to think about the results of your actions. It may feel good for a moment to let out an angry word or say something mean, but will it help the situation?

Are you ready to bring balance to your family and work lives? It starts with you. Maybe it is your boss’s fault that you hate going to work, and maybe your spouse is the reason you don’t like to spend too much time at home. But these are just sources of conflict, and they can be resolved.

My Own Nursing Home Horror Story And How I Handled It

My Own Nursing Home Horror Story And How I Handled It

Feb 3, 2014

Being a divorce attorney is no easy task. I see the worst of the worst. Families torn apart by adultery, people that have been together for 20 years fighting over who get the television set, etc. After a while it all becomes routine to some degree I would imagine. Certainly in my time I have become less emotionally involved as the years pass by. However, there are some aspects of the law that still tug at my heart strings. One such area is elder abuse law. Yes, there are government organizations set up to combat this problem, however, recently for me it has become personal.

You see my mother and father are getting older and have entered those last days of their life where everything really appears to be going downhill. My father recently had to enter a nursing home and the process for finding just the right one was intense. We scoured through tons of different facilities until deciding on what we thought was the best one. Little did we know that due diligence is often not enough to ensure safety of your loved ones. We actually found that my father was being abused in the first home we placed him in. I can’t tell you how enraged I was. You can only imagine if it was your family member in the same situation. Obviously, being an attorney, my first thoughts went to litigation. My blood was boiling and I thought to sue the facility myself. However, cooler heads prevailed, and I wound on going on a search for the best nursing home attorney I could find. I asked friends and colleagues and ultimately found someone I was comfortable with and felt had my families best interests at heart. Long story short, we nailed them. Wow, that felt good to say.

The whole point of this post though is too understand that nursing home abuse is very real regardless of what country you live in. Statistics show that many employees of nursing homes have admitted to abusing their patients through neglect, starvation, or worse. So what can be done? In my opinion all nursing homes should have strict employment practices that would hire only the highest qualified applicants. Extensive background checks should be in place to weed out the bad seeds. Also, a patient monitoring system should be put in place at each nursing home so that every patient, and every employee, is accounted for. It is only through an increased awareness of elder abuse and an increased emphasis being placed on these facilities that true change will occur.

I learned a lot from this horrible story. First, I learned that even though I am an attorney, I am not cut out to litigate every type of case. Also, I shouldn’t handle cases that involve my own family – too close to the heart and I wouldn’t be thinking straight. Also, I learned that even as bad as the clients I have, those who fight over the television set, when it comes down to it, some day we will all get old. And someday, I might find myself in a nursing home, looking back on my life, thinking the ride was great. I hope that home takes good care of me so my family doesn’t go through what we’ve gone through with my dad.