Sep 2, 2013
In our lifetime we will have plenty of relationships with many different kinds of people across a vast spectrum of interactive scenarios. As soon as we meet someone and become engaged in their lives we are essentially in a “relationship” with that person.
It is true that not all relationships are the same. Some are deep and meaningful, lasting a lifetime. Others come in passing and are created due to circumstance such as job opportunities, mutual friendships, or just a chance meeting. No matter how or why, we are connected these relationships influence our lives and mould our feelings about the world around us.
Even the greatest relationships are not void of occasional conflict. Conflict, occurs when two people do not see eye to eye and have dispute over something. Conflicts can be driven by passion, stubbornness, or personal interest. There are many reasons why people have conflicts in their relationships and sometimes the route cause of the conflict is not always apparent.
Good conflict resolution, comes from within. When we are party to a conflict, the reality is that we can only be held responsible for ourselves. Knowing how to appropriately navigate a conflict can help us build stronger relationships and live more well rounded lives. Below, I’ve outlined a simple set of behavior rules that will help you enhance your conflict resolution capabilities.
#1.) Maintain Your Composure
When you get emotional the clarity of the argument becomes blurred. When things get heated try not to raise you voice because yelling is an aggressor and it only escalates the conflict.
#2.) Re-affirm Your Feelings
This one can be tricky when the conflict is still fresh, but no matter what always end your argument with a positive reformation of your feelings. Statements like “I care about you” “I respect you” “I value our relationship” reminds the other person that you still are considerate of them beyond the conflict.
#3.) Be Open
It can be more difficult for some people to admit when they are wrong, or to concede defeat in an argument. Knowing how to do this is an invaluable conflict resolution tool. Consider this; do you value the relationship more then the achievement of being deemed right?
#4.) Be The First To Apologize
No matter who is right or wrong, the person who apologizes first is the bigger person. Being genuinely apologetic that the “conflict” occurred, demonstrates that you value the relationship. It is also a great way to move forward.
#5.) Don’t Cuss, Name Call, or Degrade
When you have a hot temper it can be easy to turn a regular conversation into a hot headed insult throwing full-blown verbal brawl. Any time that this happens you are discrediting your debate and you have already lost the battle.
#6.) Pick Your Battles
Life is short, pick your battles wisely. If you value your relationship with that individual, then maybe it is time to suppress your ego and let things go. Learning this invaluable life skill, will help you lead a more promising stress-free life.
Knowing when to fight and when to brush things off is for your benefit not anyone else’s. Take care of yourself first, and try to avoid unnecessary conflict.
Do you want to have better relationships?
The people in your life are there for a reason, do not disregard the value of having strong relationships and great people skills. If you want to get further in life, and be happier it all starts with how you behave when a conflict arises. Having great conflict resolution skills, will enhance your relationships 100%. Instead of being burdened with petty disputes, you’ll be able to truly connect with the people in your life.